Info about donations

I forgot to provide a link to David's obituary on the Stark Funeral Home website. Information about donations in David's name can be found here.

David died at 1:00 Saturday morning in much they way he had hoped: he was at home, comfortable and secure, his mother and I were with him, dear Amy Beth had been here for much of his last days. He got to see a few friends, he talked to his dad and sister on the phone, he cracked a few jokes. Felix sat on his lap, Carl kissed his hand. All in all, not a bad way to go.

Please join us on Friday, January 20 from 4pm-7pm at Zingerman's Events on Fourth for a celebration. There will be light hors d'oeuvres, soda, beer, wine and, of course, martinis.

Happy New Year!

We have received so many cards, calls, and messages over the last few weeks. Be certain: we feel the love.

We wish for a peaceful and happy 2012 for all of you.

so it goes

David has made the decision to stop treatment and go on hospice care. The treatments weren't really doing much in the way of making him feel better. In fact, the latest one required a 48-hour infusion time so for two days he had to wear a fanny pack with a pump in it. It was cumbersome and made sitting and sleeping uncomfortable. David isn't really doing a whole lot besides sitting and sleeping so you can imagine that this was not a fun weekend for him.

We met with his oncologist last Friday and she fully supported his decision. She will still be kept in the loop about David's progress but all of his care going forward is being managed by the Heartland Hospice team. His regular nurse will come to the house about once a week to check in, take his vitals and answer any questions. A social worker came out to meet us and is going to be helping me navigate the Medicaid application process. They have also taken over all of his prescriptions: not only do they deliver everything to the house but we don't have to pay copays any more! They offer just about anything you can think of including equipment, bereavement counselling, massage therapists, home health aides, volunteers and so on.

We both feel a not-so-small sense of relief. First, I'm glad that we were able to come to this decision in our own time. Second, there will be no more driving to appointments, blood draws, allergy testing, fanny packs or lunches at the U of M Hospital cafeteria. Our focus now is on staying warm, pain-free and comfortable.

David is sleeping a great deal of the time now which makes it less likely that he'll be up for phone calls or visitors but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try if you feel so inclined: please leave a comment or email if you've got something to say or give a call if you feel like talking or want to set up a visit.

Thanks for reading.

There's no place like it

David came home this afternoon. He and his doctors decided mid-morning that he was going to go home but it still took until almost 3 pm to get him discharged. No complaints, though. He received excellent care at the University of Michigan Hospital. In fact Joanne, the nurse he saw the most of, referred to herself as the Queen of Poop and she was really great. You just don't want to see her crown.

So, he's home but he's got a busy week ahead of him: there's a full DVR and two little dogs who missed out on a few days of snuggle time.

Thanks for all the well wishes and support. You'll hear from us again soon.

Here's what we've been doing

There is quite a bit to catch you up on so I'll jump right in:

Since our last post we've had some visitors starting with Kira and Matt. Kira is Darla's daughter and David has known her since she was a wee one. She and her friend Matt were in the process of hitchhiking from Portland, OR to New York City for the Occupy Wall Street protest. They stopped here for a hot shower, a good night's sleep and a big Bomber breakfast before thumbing it the rest of the way. They are still there, still protesting nad probably getting snowed on as I type this. Check out their blog (although I think they update less frequently the even we do!) Go, Kira and Matt!!!

Then my parents were here for a few days. Mom made us 2 apple pies and some stuffed shells for dinner. The took their usual trip to Ikea and we played about a million games of cribbage. It had been a year since they were here last so it was great to see them and spend time together.

The following weekend was the Purple Stride walk at the Detroit zoo. It was really something to see: there were thousands of people there walking and cheering. The event raised over $175,000 and Team Martini raised over $2,000 of that! David actually walked the entire 5k which made the day even more special. Plus, animals! Detroit has a really impressive zoo. In addition to usual assortment, they had peacocks wandering about freely and a pair of very frisky aardvarks. Here is Team Martini (with the exception of Liz who took the picture. Thanks, Liz!)

We are all sporting another Matt Sturm original t-shirt. Awesome!

In the few weeks since the zoo walk David has been feeling poorly: more and more tired, no appetite, another allergic reaction to the latest chemo drug, a birthday spent sleeping and feeling crappy. Then, early Thursday morning I took him to the ER with abdominal pain that no amount of drugs could touch. It took them some time to get his pain under control. Meanwhile, they did x-rays and an ultrasound and were initially afraid that he had a bowel obstruction. A CT scan on Thursday night showed no obstruction but he was severly constipated. He is still in the hospital and has had some improvement but not enough to come home. He just needs to poop, really. That's all. One good poop. there have been rumblings and considering the variety and amount of things they've been administering it shouldn't be much longer. Sorry for all the poop talk but if you have kids or dogs or saw Bridesmaids I'm sure this doesn't bother you.

He's feeling some better, his pain is under control and he has a private room so it could be worse. His mom, dad and sister Danielle are here and while they're not having quite the visit they were expecting, they are glad to be here for him. They've also been a big help with the dogs while I've been otherwise occupied.

So, that's what new with us. Sorry if I burried the lead by putting the big news at the end but I wanted to share some of the good stuff too. There's always good stuff. Thanks for reading. More soon.

shedding and other side effects

Hi everyone.  Been feeling very tired the past few weeks.  I think part of it might be a minor cold but I know some of it is due to the bad sleep I've been getting since being on the anti-depression (also anti-nausea) pills the psychiatrist prescribed.  The ironic thing about the drug is that it was supposed to help me sleep and indeed it makes me tired but it also makes me have weird dreams that end up leading to a crappy nights sleep.  I had an appointment with the shrink on Friday and we agreed I could/should stop taking it.

The other problem with sleep has to do with my inability to control my body temp.  I wake up several times in a night (or even during a nap) and I'm saturated with cold sweat.  As are the sheets and pillow cases.  For some reason, when I nap on the couch downstairs I do not have this problem (at least not nearly to this extent) so last night I decided to try sleeping on the couch and I was dry all night for the first time in a while.

On the opposite side of the body temperature issue is how cold I get when I stand up after having been sitting for any period of time (or when I get up from bed).  Within 15 seconds of getting up I am shivering like it's below freezing in the house.  My body does warm up after a minute or so of shivering so it's not a major issue but I do find it odd.

Finally, in side effects updates, I have begun to lose my hair.  My doctor had told me the new chemo drug would cause this but for some reason it didn't start until two weeks after the dose so I had kind of forgotten until yesterday I woke from a very damp nap and noticed tons of little hairs on the pillow.  If I brush my hand over the top of my head the hairs just fall like snowflakes.  I wonder how long it will take to fall out completely?  Just like finding out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, I may never find out because I will probably shave it rather that deal with hairs falling down my back and being all itchy.

Now, after four paragraphs of complaints, I want to make sure you don't think I'm all down in the dumps because generally speaking I'm pretty content most days.  True I can't get around as well or even as much as I would like but we've got about a week of warm Autumn temps coming (and a break from the rain) and that typically inspires me to get out and at least go for a short walk or even bike ride.  Additionally, there's the big zoo walk next weekend.  Team Martini has really come together and generated more than $1200 in donations - and there's still time to give if you meant to but didn't quite get around to it.  Can't wait to see everyone who's coming out for the day and I'm excited to see the zoo, too. 

That's all for now - take care!