just a quick hello

Check it out, I am finally updating the blog!  I wish I had more to say but things are about the same as they were when we last spoke.  I have been having good days where I bake and cook all day and I have had some bad days where I barely get off the couch.  Dave and I had a very fun time decorating cookies last week and I LOVE the gingerbread cookie with juniper glaze recipe that I got from Amy Beth - very unique and very delicious!

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Gingerbread-Trees-with-Juniper-Berry-Glaze-236805

I have some other recipes that I would like to share but that will have to wait for another time.  For now, enjoy whatever time you get to spend with loved ones over the holidays and, as always, have a martini for me!

We haven't been ignoring you, really.

You know how it gets around the holidays.

DT here, posting on my lunch break since we are having home computer issues. I hope you all had a fine and lovely Thanksgiving. We did. Michelle and Blair hosted and everyone cooked. David did the turkey, and those of you who have tased it know that bourbon-brining a fresh turkey is the way to go. It was so spectacular, even a few "vegetarians" ate some! It was a great day to spend with friends and I wish you all could have been there.

David has been feeling mostly good these past few weeks, spending much of his time in the kitchen baking bread. There is nothing quite like fresh-baked bread and I very often come home to (or wake up to) the smell of a loaf fresh from the oven. It's quite a comfort to have warm bread on a cold day.

It's hard to believe that it's the second week of December already. We put up the Christmas tree yesterday, bought winter coats for Felix and Carl (pictures to come) and our neighbor Bert had his snowblower tuned up so we should be good to go. Bring it on, Old Man Winter! No, actually, please don't.

Thanks for reading and thanks for commenting. Stay warm. We won't let a month go by without a post again!

something of an update

Well yesterday was the big day for getting results from last weeks CT scan and just as anticipated, the results are pretty good.  The tumors seems to be responding to the treatments and while they can appear to be modestly larger than they were 2 months ago, it's also true that the level of fluid build up I had for the first one vs. the second can cause some distorting so the doc says that nothing really changed.  Sounds not great except when you consider that the other option was that treatment might have done little or nothing and I could be much worse off.

So, we're happy about that.  We continue with this course for another two months and reassess formally in early January.

I had a paracentesis scheduled in the morning as well but they were only able to drain off a tiny bit of fluid (there wasn't that much to start with been though it's been two weeks) because it's accumulating in a more difficult to access area but the discomfort isn't too bad and eventually they should be able to get at the pockets of fluid, they just need to expand a bit.

It's been a whirlwind of visitors lately as well.  We loved getting to spend some time with Renee, Yasu & Courtney.  They arrived on Saturday afternoon and stopped at Whole Foods on the way to our house and Yasu made us an amazing dinner from scratch (of course he did).  Wonderful!  Got to see them a few times over the course of the next few days and had lots of laughs as we looked through old sort scrap books etc.  Renee made up a whole bunch of little buttons that say "I <heart> DS" so expect to be sporting one the next time you leave because everyone gets one!  :)

Speaking of scrap books...Dave and I received one of the most thoughtful gifts I can imagine.  Several friends gathered lots of materials from several more friends/family and created (1) a bound books with all kinds of pictures and stories and (2) a scrapbook filled with even more of the same!  So many people were contacted (out of the blue no less) and so many people sent in items to share (you all know who you are) and I cannot wait for everyone who comes over to see these books because they are really wonderful.  Thanks to Melissa, Irene, Emily, Jenny, Raegan, Anne and everyone else I may be forgetting.

Since Sunday we've also been hosting Dave's parents, sister Sarah and two nieces Ariana and Anina.  It's been a lot of fun plus, while I spent the day at the hospital yesterday, Sarah made meatballs and sauce from scratch (for a wonderful dinner) some soup to freeze for a later meal (not to mention extra meatballs and sauce to freeze) plus a couple of lasagnes to boot.  Then Dave's mom, Dorothy, also made a pumpkin pie and an apple pie which are also in the freezer for later consumption.  We are stocked again!  We've had so many wonderful meals pre-made for us and we have been eating them people!  Eating and LOVING them (we have some good cooks for friends.  For real.)

Thanks for reading.  I hope you are all having a good day.  I am.  :)

what a nice day

Just giving some appreciation for a lovely fall day (not too brisk, very sunny) and the fact that I had a good walk with the dogs to take advantage it.  I'm kind of wiped out now but it was worth it.

Besides, I can always take a nap.  :)

Hope it's nice where you are, too.

finishing the first set of chemo

Hi there.  Yesterday was another round of chemotherapy and it was the last before I get another CT scan next Thursday.  We did one scan before chemo started as a baseline so now we compare how the tumors look.  The doctor is hopeful that the progress will be good since the paracentesis fluid situation has improved so much and I seem to be doing better as well.  So while I will almost certainly still be on chemo and everything else after next week, at least we'll know if it's better, worse or just the same.

This past weekend was a big birthday celebration.  Mine was the 25th, my sister Danielle's is the 29th and my mom follows on 11/6.  Originally my other sister Dana and her whole brood (husband and 17 year old twins) were to have joined us but they had to back out at the last minute due to a family emergency on the in-laws side.  So the smaller group of us (including mom and Dad and Dave) and a lovely dinner at Quarter Bistro in Ann Arbor (a great place you locals, try it sometime!) and spent the weekend hanging around the house.  It wasn't a great last few days as far as my stamina levels but I did manager to cook a pretty great dinner for their first night in town. 

The other nights we ate at home we had an amazing butternut squash and arugula lasagna that Val made and then a wonderful tomato soup with cheese tortellini that Dave's sister Sarah had made and sent frozen.  All in all, we've been eating really well on the food others give us!  We also had some ridiculously good chocolate stout cupcakes that Katy from the Cafe Ops team made and sent home with Dave (luckily she made some for the office, too because they needed to be shared!).

Here are a couple of pics from dinner.





And a couple from around the house.

keeping busy

Hi everyone,

It's been a mostly good week. There was one incident with nausea that came out of nowhere on Saturday night (Amy Beth, it had nothing to do with the fantastic dinner you made, I swear) but it was over almost as soon as it arrived. 

Missed out on some apple picking with friends yesterday (still kind of tired and out of if from not having a very good Saturday night) but being such nice people, Melissa and Anne stopped by with some apples that the group bought for us.  Since I have been eating an apple a day (a current craving, not some ill-advised bid to keep doctors away) this is wonderful!  The rest of the week was dotted with some activity here and there (made some dinners, did some cleaning, got out and about a little) but mostly low key since the coming week and weekend will be packed with family.  Mom and Dad (note, they haven't been married for 20 years) arrive together on Thursday with Danielle coming from Texas on Friday and Dana plus her husband and my two 17 year old nephews arrive from Florida on Saturday. 

The big idea is to celebrate birthdays (mine is 10/25, Danielle's is the 29th and my mom's is a week later) so we'll go out to a nice dinner at Quarter Bistro (an underrated Ann Arbor restaurant) and then I want to show the Florida group some good Michigan stuff since it's their first time here.  I'm thinking Henry Ford Museum for sure.  Any other ideas?  They're only in town for a few days so we don't have time for much but we can't just sit around the house with a crowd this size.

The paracentesis on Friday yielded only 1.25 liters (after one week) so the fluid levels are WAY down from just a few weeks ago.  I'm still feeling a little full around the belly area but I battle constipation every day as well (mostly, I'm winning - thankfully so!). 

Chemo resumes this week on Tuesday.  Amy Beth will be spending the day with me this time.  We have a picnic lunch and travel Cribbage planned.  Should be pretty fun for a medical procedure.

I know I sound like a broken record when I say thanks for sending notes and leaving comments but I really do appreciate it as an ongoing concern so I want to continue to say thanks to those who have reached out.  It's been really great to hear from you!  I especially like hearing about all the martinis (and other drinks) being consumed on my behalf.  If you send pictures I will publish them on the blog (with your permission, of course).  We need some more pics arond here anyway.

Thanks for reading - have a great day!

the news in brief

Hi all,

Apologies for the lack of recent updates.  I've been keeping busy with out of town guests and the usual array of doctor appointments.  Currently at the house is my aunt Joyce and cousin Jessie.  Joyce is my mom's sister and growing up we spent a lot of time with them but as an adult I haven't been able to see them much so it's been nice to spend some time chatting and playing cards (that is what we do in my family - if you're not a card player you're probably going to be bored at my family get togethers).

On the Good Day vs. Bad Day news page I'm happy to report that this week has been mostly good days and even better is that the only real bad day (Monday) was bad in that I had nausea and couldn't really keep everything down it wasn't nearly as bad as when it happened in prior weeks.  Likewise the good days have been better, too.  I know that with my ever changing body chemistry nothing is ever settled permanently so I'm making sure to enjoy it while it lasts (a.k.a. "If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.")

More good news on the paracentesis as well.  Previously, the cancer was producing about 4 liters of toxic fluid every week.  Having it drained every week meant that by day 7 there was no room in my guts for little things like food and the discomfort from the bloating was almost incapacitating.  When I stepped it up to twice per week they were down to getting 2-2.5 liters every few days which was far more tolerable though obviously more of a pain to have to go in for the procedure twice in a week.  The process is actually pretty fast and low impact it's the getting to the hospital, finding parking etc. that takes forever and is a real pain.  Anyway, the chemo seems to be having an impact because the last couple of times they only got 1-1.5 liters so the production seems to be slowing down to a point where I can now step back to only once per week.  Yeah!  Also, not that any of them read this blog, I wanted to give a shout out to the radiology staff who see me for my appointments.  Everyone from the reception ladies to the PAs and nurses are always super nice and treat me like a person and not a patient.  Some great people at the U of M hospital.

That's all for now, thanks for reading!

more pictures

Had an overall great time with Darla.  The nausea did clear up and we got to see some of the sites and check out some of our good local grub before she had to leave.  She got some great pics, too.

This is us in front of the famous (for being phallic) and historic water tower of Ypsilanti.



Here's us in the backyard.


Here's Dave and me at Ypsi's own Ladies Library.  No, they wouldn't let us in (because it's not open to the public at this time).


So, good times.  Today was another long day at the hospital with both a paracentesis (2 liters today) as well as a round of chemo.  Was there from 9:00 to 5:45 so basically like a day of work.  Boo to that!  Feeling slightly off right now but will attempt some dinner none the less. 

Currently having a good time with Dave's sister Debbie visiting from Rochester.  She's been a great medical resource for us as well as being a good friend and sister - we love having her here.

That's all for now - more soon. 

good days, bad days

Hi Friends and Family,

Last week was round 2 of chemo and despite that fact that I ate a lot later that night I did end up being quite nauseous the next day and had a rougher recovery from round 2 than I did for round 1.  It seemed that with a med regime change we got that nausea under control but it's been rearing it's head again this week.  While I did have many good days last week it's been a little rougher this week.  Yesterday in particular was horrible.  I couldn't keep anything down and I was dry heaving all day it seemed. 

Doctor called in an updated prescription for a new drug that seemed to be effective until it wasn't.  Long story short, I went to the ER because I was facing dehydration.  They pumped me full of fluids (via the power port, of course) and more nausea meds and I left around 3:00 AM.  AT least I didn't need to be admitted which is what happened the last two times I went to the ER.

Today is better though I am still feeling less than stellar.  At this point, it's a victory because I have only thrown up once today (so far anyway). 

On the bright side, my good friend Darla is now visiting from Portland and it's been great to see her and talk about the old days (you know, the 90's) and she is at present making dinner for us so what more could I ask for?  Maybe less nausea while she's here.  She's had to be very patient with me while I run up to go be sick every so often.

Another round of paracentesis tomorrow.  Any wagers as to how much fluid they'll get out?  I'm feeling it to be about 2.5 liters again.  Round 3 of chemo is next Tuesday - wish me luck!

Thanks again for all the notes and such.  Every day there's something wonderful in my inbox and my mailbox.  It's wonderful to feel so loved!
David

p.s.  Some people have indicated they weren't sure how to post a comment - if you click the comment section a space should just appear to comment, right?  I guess since I have never done it I haven't thought about it.

some pictures

Hi all,

That post is going to be tough to top so instead of trying to do that, I'm sharing some pictures that Tanya took last weekend.

Dave, Amy Beth, me, Ellen and Michelle. 

Michelle and Blair hosted Amy Beth, Ellen and Tanya so that those three

 might cook endless amounts of delcious food.

Me with Carl on my right and Felix in our living room.

Amy Beth, me and Tanya.

My mom took this one.  Carl loves to kiss, Felix not so much.

Please & Thanks

DT here. I've been thinking about writing the perfect post for some time now but this one will have to do.

David had his second chemo treatment today. It was a rough start to the day after a pretty tough weekend but tonight he's feeling better than he has in days. He ate the biggest plate of Chinese food I've ever seen and then had some more about an hour later. I know, how cliche! Ron and Mary (David's dad and his wife) arrived yesterday and stayed with him today at the hospital so I could go to work. I guess I should feel grateful, right?

Funny, because gratitude is exactly what I've been thinking about lately. I recently read Mary Karr's wonderful memoir Lit in which she details her struggle with quitting drinking. A lifelong agnostic, she struggled with figuring out how to "surrender to a Higher Power." A friend suggested she not worry about the HP part of it and pray anyway. She decided to start each day with a prayer and end it with a thanks.

I finished this book while David was in the hospital in early August and, despite myself, decided to try the same thing. I thought of it as my "please and thanks" - every morning I would "ask" for something and every night I would say "thanks." Couldn't hurt, right?

I had a harder time asking for things - maybe it was the early hour - but I usually came up with something: I asked for a good day, for sleep, for relief, for Felix to stop barking at every damn squirrel. The thanks part was always easy - in fact, I sometimes doubled-up and gave thanks for two or even three of the many kindnesses I received each day.

And now, 6 weeks later, I can't keep up with the thanks I owe: family who have come and family who are rearranging their days to come soon; Tanya flew across the country to be here and Darla is just about to do the same; Amy Beth and Ellen for cooking us so many fantastic meals and Michelle, Blair and Avery for making room in their house for them to do so; Debbie for deciphering medical lingo and my confused emotions with equal grace; Melissa made me go to the farmer's market; Stan for walking the dogs and for increasing the number of humans that Carl trusts by 50%; Jenny for checking on me throughout every day; Greg for making us laugh; Mary for offering massages (and her mom's bread pudding); Yasu for the poetry; Regina and Laurel for answering the phone when I call; Tom & Emily for the Netflix; and everyone for the thoughts, prayers, good mojo, positive energy, well wishes, games, movies, jam, puzzle magazines, Zingerman's goodies and martinis.

One of the things that David and I bonded over early on was our love of Kurt Vonnegut. Just yesterday I came across something from him that made me smile and I share that with you now:

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"

Cheers and thanks to you all.

beautiful fall day here

Had a mixed weekend.  Discomfort from fluid build up was pretty bad (had paracentesis today and they got 3.5 liters out) but had Amy Beth & Ellen from Chicago and Tanya from Denver (staying with other, local friends) and it was great to see them and have them make such delicious food each night.

Today, at least now - post drainage, I'm feeling a lot better and actually eating an apple as I type (the trick is to cut it up). 

I've been having a lot of trouble regulating my body temp and I am so sweaty that I decided to shave off my hair so that it will dry faster and be more comfortable.  I'll post pics soon but most have seen me without hair before so it isn't that much different.  I'm told the chemo will cause it to fall out anyway so this is just a little preemptive strike.

Again, it's always nice to read your comments so keep them coming!

Chemo, round 1

Another long day at the hospital.  Started around 10:00 with a "Skills Lab" where you might think they test how mad UR skillz are or something but it was mostly just getting and giving a bunch of info with the nurse.  Then there was the inevitable blood draw (but! this time I had my brand new Power Port!) and then the loooong wait for the doctor appt at 1:00 and chemo scheduled for 2.  Somewhere around 3:30 we got the chemo show on the freaking road.  My concerns about what it was going to be like were completely eased once they walked me through it and assured me that any nausea would be minor considering the meds they were going to give me.  The achiness and weakness was what I was really supposed to worry about.  Always good to know you've been worried about the wrong thing!

So the chemo thing take s a while because they start the IV with some prep and then there's one round of chemo drugs followed by an hour of hydration followed by the next round of chemo and then more hydration.  I was kind of tired from not getting much sleep lately and dozed most of the way through the treatment but I did wake long enough for some snacks from the "Nourishment Center" (Hello, stale saltines and juice boxes in three flavors).  Watched a few minutes of bad daytime TV (and yes, I know, what is good daytime TV?) and then rolled over and went back to sleep.

Didn't leave there until about 7:00.  Got home and was feeling pretty good, a little sleepy but happily not nauseated.  Until...out of nowhere the wave just washed over me and luckily I was already close to the bathroom.  Dry heaves (again) and then it happened (goodbye stale saltines and three kinds of juice from a box).  And then I felt fine!  We ordered pizza for dinner, I had 1/4 my usual portion and sat down to whip out a blog post.

Thanks again for all the comments, cards and emails (not to mention the AMAZING hand knit socks) and of course, for keeping the faith with the martinis. 

David

Saturday morning

I'm so excited to have a wave of cooler weather blowing through SE Michigan - it feels like an early autumn morning for sure.  This has been my favorite time of year for as long as I can remember; I loved going back to school to see friends missed over the summer (with all kinds of new school supplies and new school clothes!), my birthday is in October and Halloween follows right behind.  At that point, it's almost no time to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

But, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here.  Yesterday was a long day at the hospital starting at 9:30 with having something called a power port installed (it's basically a permanent IV line) for the chemo that starts on Tuesday.  Then at noon I had more fluid drained (almost 4 liters and this was only since Monday) and then finally a CAT scan.  Got home mid-afternoon and took a monster nap which lasted until about 8:30(!).

This weekend will be nice and relaxing.  We'll play some games with mom, take naps, play with the dogs and nosh like royalty on the amazing Zingerman's trays that Tom dropped off (sorry I missed you - see note about monster nap above  :) ).  One of the highlight from this past week was finally getting to meet Arthur (Artie) who is Emily & Tom's super cute puppy.  The play date was fun for us though the the dogs didn't exactly play.  Felix doesn't care about playing with other dogs that much and Carl is still trying to figure out how that would even work.  I'm confident that Carl will get it eventually, he just needs a canine mentor to show him how.  Felix, well, there's a reason his nickname is "The Asshole".  Love him but he can be a challenge when it comes to interacting with other dogs.

Have a nice weekend everyone and don't forget to have a martini for me if the occasion should arise.  :)

So it Goes.

Hello Friends,

I received my diagnosis on Thursday and the news isn't good.  I have stage 4 cancer from either the pancreas or the bile ducts located near the pancreas.  At this point there's not much difference because the course of treatment is the same for both.

The cancer has spread too much for surgery to be of any use so I will begin chemo on Tuesday next week.  I will receive the treatments once per week on a schedule of two weeks on, one week off.  If the treatments are successful I could have as much as another year to live.  Otherwise, it could be six months or less.  I could also be one of those rare "lived for years" cases but that's not likely so I only mention it since no one really knows what will happen just yet.

As you can well imagine, I am a mixture of anger, frustration and a deep, deep sadness.  I also have constant reminders of all the love that's out there for me and for Dave and it really does make a difference to hear from everyone.  To that end, I wanted to let you know that I have a new cell phone number because my cell phone from the last 10 years was a work phone and thus will be not mine sometime in the near future.  I don't want to post the number here but I will make it available on my Facebook info page.  If you're not my FB friend, send me a note and I'll send you the number in an email.  Home number is the same and is still valid.

Call or text; I would like to hear from you!

More soon, friends. 

No news, just some random stuff

Hi all,
I meet with the oncology group tomorrow so hopefully there will be some info about what course of treatment I'll be undergoing.  Sometimes it feels like the wheels move very slowly but I guess my perspective is a little skewed (I want this done with NOW!) and I know they're getting to me as soon as they can.

Not too much has happened since last Thursday when I posted the first entry here.  Had a chance to see Jenny and Stan and then Val and Nicole - very nice, if brief, visits.  On Sunday Dave took me to IKEA for what amounted to a big day out.  We went to find a more comfy chair for me to sit in while watching TV (because I am watching a lot of TV) and by the time we got home I was wiped out.  But we found a good, comfortable chair. 

On Monday I had another round of fluid drainage and this time they took out 3.8 liters, the largest amount so far.  For those keeping score, this brings me to a total of 8.8 liters over 14 days.  No doubt there will be more of the same to come (luckily this is an outpatient procedure and not too taxing).  The doctor told me that the pressure I feel from all this additional liquid in my gut is the same thing that pregnant women feel when the baby starts to get big and pushes on the surrounding organs.  It can be very painful and I have a difficult time imagining dealing with that for several months.

Otherwise, not too much going on.  The dogs are getting, and loving, tons of attention.  I wish I could take them for long walks during the day but they have to deal with short walks around the block or a quick visit to the backyard for a piddle.  Dave is taking them for their long morning and afternoon walks so they are getting exercise.

I also just finished the entire series, 22 episodes, of the HBO show Rome.  Can't recommend it enough and I found that not really knowing or remembering this period of history was no hindrance.  In fact, the only thing I knew going in was that Brutus kills Caesar (um, spoiler alert?) though they didn't include the famous "Et tu, Brute?" quote during that scene.  Maybe that's just something Shakespeare made up?  At any rate, it was really well done.

Finally, I want to say thanks to all those who have left comments on the blog or have sent me messages in other ways.  You have no idea how much I appreciate that - it really helps a lot!

More soon,
David

Hello Friends & Family

I've set up this blog to post updates on where I'm at with all of the cancer stuff and Dave will be updating when I'm not able.  I decided to call it Two Martinis, Please because anyone who knows us knows that Dave and I love a good martini and usually when we are out to dinner the first to order a drink will say something along the lines of "Bombay Sapphire martini, up with olives" and the other will just say "same".  So the name is a reminder of all the good times we've had together so far as well as looking forward to ordering more martinis together in the future.  (For the record I do not currently have a taste for liquor of any kind.)

Here's the story so far.  The weekend of August 7/8 I was feeling very bloated and couldn't really move; the only comfortable position was on my back or side.  I had been feeling a little "off" for a couple of weeks but never to a point where I was incapacitated.  On Monday the 9th I made an appointment with the doctor who basically took one look at me and sent me to the ER where I was ultimately admitted for testing and fluid drainage (three liters!).  Tests of the fluid and a later biopsy showed cancer but additional testing was needed to determine more specifics.  I was released on Thursday that week and scheduled for a colonoscopy on the following Monday the 16th.

The colonoscopy itself went fine but I did not recover as people normally will.  The doctors described it as my bowels having gone to sleep and I could not release the gas that was pumped in as part of the procedure.  It was truly agonizing and they sent me in an ambulance back the ER where once again I was admitted and held for observation (and additional fluid drainage) until today, Thursday the 19th.

So I am back at home, on antibiotics and painkillers until I meet with the oncology group next week.  The painkillers are helping a lot but I'm pretty fuzzy throughout the day, moving slowly and taking naps (call that a silver lining - I love naps!).

That's all for now.  If you are out to dinner and thinking of having a cocktail, have a martini for me.  They're especially great if you can get them with blue cheese stuffed olives.  :)

More soon!