more pictures

Had an overall great time with Darla.  The nausea did clear up and we got to see some of the sites and check out some of our good local grub before she had to leave.  She got some great pics, too.

This is us in front of the famous (for being phallic) and historic water tower of Ypsilanti.



Here's us in the backyard.


Here's Dave and me at Ypsi's own Ladies Library.  No, they wouldn't let us in (because it's not open to the public at this time).


So, good times.  Today was another long day at the hospital with both a paracentesis (2 liters today) as well as a round of chemo.  Was there from 9:00 to 5:45 so basically like a day of work.  Boo to that!  Feeling slightly off right now but will attempt some dinner none the less. 

Currently having a good time with Dave's sister Debbie visiting from Rochester.  She's been a great medical resource for us as well as being a good friend and sister - we love having her here.

That's all for now - more soon. 

good days, bad days

Hi Friends and Family,

Last week was round 2 of chemo and despite that fact that I ate a lot later that night I did end up being quite nauseous the next day and had a rougher recovery from round 2 than I did for round 1.  It seemed that with a med regime change we got that nausea under control but it's been rearing it's head again this week.  While I did have many good days last week it's been a little rougher this week.  Yesterday in particular was horrible.  I couldn't keep anything down and I was dry heaving all day it seemed. 

Doctor called in an updated prescription for a new drug that seemed to be effective until it wasn't.  Long story short, I went to the ER because I was facing dehydration.  They pumped me full of fluids (via the power port, of course) and more nausea meds and I left around 3:00 AM.  AT least I didn't need to be admitted which is what happened the last two times I went to the ER.

Today is better though I am still feeling less than stellar.  At this point, it's a victory because I have only thrown up once today (so far anyway). 

On the bright side, my good friend Darla is now visiting from Portland and it's been great to see her and talk about the old days (you know, the 90's) and she is at present making dinner for us so what more could I ask for?  Maybe less nausea while she's here.  She's had to be very patient with me while I run up to go be sick every so often.

Another round of paracentesis tomorrow.  Any wagers as to how much fluid they'll get out?  I'm feeling it to be about 2.5 liters again.  Round 3 of chemo is next Tuesday - wish me luck!

Thanks again for all the notes and such.  Every day there's something wonderful in my inbox and my mailbox.  It's wonderful to feel so loved!
David

p.s.  Some people have indicated they weren't sure how to post a comment - if you click the comment section a space should just appear to comment, right?  I guess since I have never done it I haven't thought about it.

some pictures

Hi all,

That post is going to be tough to top so instead of trying to do that, I'm sharing some pictures that Tanya took last weekend.

Dave, Amy Beth, me, Ellen and Michelle. 

Michelle and Blair hosted Amy Beth, Ellen and Tanya so that those three

 might cook endless amounts of delcious food.

Me with Carl on my right and Felix in our living room.

Amy Beth, me and Tanya.

My mom took this one.  Carl loves to kiss, Felix not so much.

Please & Thanks

DT here. I've been thinking about writing the perfect post for some time now but this one will have to do.

David had his second chemo treatment today. It was a rough start to the day after a pretty tough weekend but tonight he's feeling better than he has in days. He ate the biggest plate of Chinese food I've ever seen and then had some more about an hour later. I know, how cliche! Ron and Mary (David's dad and his wife) arrived yesterday and stayed with him today at the hospital so I could go to work. I guess I should feel grateful, right?

Funny, because gratitude is exactly what I've been thinking about lately. I recently read Mary Karr's wonderful memoir Lit in which she details her struggle with quitting drinking. A lifelong agnostic, she struggled with figuring out how to "surrender to a Higher Power." A friend suggested she not worry about the HP part of it and pray anyway. She decided to start each day with a prayer and end it with a thanks.

I finished this book while David was in the hospital in early August and, despite myself, decided to try the same thing. I thought of it as my "please and thanks" - every morning I would "ask" for something and every night I would say "thanks." Couldn't hurt, right?

I had a harder time asking for things - maybe it was the early hour - but I usually came up with something: I asked for a good day, for sleep, for relief, for Felix to stop barking at every damn squirrel. The thanks part was always easy - in fact, I sometimes doubled-up and gave thanks for two or even three of the many kindnesses I received each day.

And now, 6 weeks later, I can't keep up with the thanks I owe: family who have come and family who are rearranging their days to come soon; Tanya flew across the country to be here and Darla is just about to do the same; Amy Beth and Ellen for cooking us so many fantastic meals and Michelle, Blair and Avery for making room in their house for them to do so; Debbie for deciphering medical lingo and my confused emotions with equal grace; Melissa made me go to the farmer's market; Stan for walking the dogs and for increasing the number of humans that Carl trusts by 50%; Jenny for checking on me throughout every day; Greg for making us laugh; Mary for offering massages (and her mom's bread pudding); Yasu for the poetry; Regina and Laurel for answering the phone when I call; Tom & Emily for the Netflix; and everyone for the thoughts, prayers, good mojo, positive energy, well wishes, games, movies, jam, puzzle magazines, Zingerman's goodies and martinis.

One of the things that David and I bonded over early on was our love of Kurt Vonnegut. Just yesterday I came across something from him that made me smile and I share that with you now:

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"

Cheers and thanks to you all.

beautiful fall day here

Had a mixed weekend.  Discomfort from fluid build up was pretty bad (had paracentesis today and they got 3.5 liters out) but had Amy Beth & Ellen from Chicago and Tanya from Denver (staying with other, local friends) and it was great to see them and have them make such delicious food each night.

Today, at least now - post drainage, I'm feeling a lot better and actually eating an apple as I type (the trick is to cut it up). 

I've been having a lot of trouble regulating my body temp and I am so sweaty that I decided to shave off my hair so that it will dry faster and be more comfortable.  I'll post pics soon but most have seen me without hair before so it isn't that much different.  I'm told the chemo will cause it to fall out anyway so this is just a little preemptive strike.

Again, it's always nice to read your comments so keep them coming!

Chemo, round 1

Another long day at the hospital.  Started around 10:00 with a "Skills Lab" where you might think they test how mad UR skillz are or something but it was mostly just getting and giving a bunch of info with the nurse.  Then there was the inevitable blood draw (but! this time I had my brand new Power Port!) and then the loooong wait for the doctor appt at 1:00 and chemo scheduled for 2.  Somewhere around 3:30 we got the chemo show on the freaking road.  My concerns about what it was going to be like were completely eased once they walked me through it and assured me that any nausea would be minor considering the meds they were going to give me.  The achiness and weakness was what I was really supposed to worry about.  Always good to know you've been worried about the wrong thing!

So the chemo thing take s a while because they start the IV with some prep and then there's one round of chemo drugs followed by an hour of hydration followed by the next round of chemo and then more hydration.  I was kind of tired from not getting much sleep lately and dozed most of the way through the treatment but I did wake long enough for some snacks from the "Nourishment Center" (Hello, stale saltines and juice boxes in three flavors).  Watched a few minutes of bad daytime TV (and yes, I know, what is good daytime TV?) and then rolled over and went back to sleep.

Didn't leave there until about 7:00.  Got home and was feeling pretty good, a little sleepy but happily not nauseated.  Until...out of nowhere the wave just washed over me and luckily I was already close to the bathroom.  Dry heaves (again) and then it happened (goodbye stale saltines and three kinds of juice from a box).  And then I felt fine!  We ordered pizza for dinner, I had 1/4 my usual portion and sat down to whip out a blog post.

Thanks again for all the comments, cards and emails (not to mention the AMAZING hand knit socks) and of course, for keeping the faith with the martinis. 

David

Saturday morning

I'm so excited to have a wave of cooler weather blowing through SE Michigan - it feels like an early autumn morning for sure.  This has been my favorite time of year for as long as I can remember; I loved going back to school to see friends missed over the summer (with all kinds of new school supplies and new school clothes!), my birthday is in October and Halloween follows right behind.  At that point, it's almost no time to Thanksgiving and Christmas.

But, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here.  Yesterday was a long day at the hospital starting at 9:30 with having something called a power port installed (it's basically a permanent IV line) for the chemo that starts on Tuesday.  Then at noon I had more fluid drained (almost 4 liters and this was only since Monday) and then finally a CAT scan.  Got home mid-afternoon and took a monster nap which lasted until about 8:30(!).

This weekend will be nice and relaxing.  We'll play some games with mom, take naps, play with the dogs and nosh like royalty on the amazing Zingerman's trays that Tom dropped off (sorry I missed you - see note about monster nap above  :) ).  One of the highlight from this past week was finally getting to meet Arthur (Artie) who is Emily & Tom's super cute puppy.  The play date was fun for us though the the dogs didn't exactly play.  Felix doesn't care about playing with other dogs that much and Carl is still trying to figure out how that would even work.  I'm confident that Carl will get it eventually, he just needs a canine mentor to show him how.  Felix, well, there's a reason his nickname is "The Asshole".  Love him but he can be a challenge when it comes to interacting with other dogs.

Have a nice weekend everyone and don't forget to have a martini for me if the occasion should arise.  :)

So it Goes.

Hello Friends,

I received my diagnosis on Thursday and the news isn't good.  I have stage 4 cancer from either the pancreas or the bile ducts located near the pancreas.  At this point there's not much difference because the course of treatment is the same for both.

The cancer has spread too much for surgery to be of any use so I will begin chemo on Tuesday next week.  I will receive the treatments once per week on a schedule of two weeks on, one week off.  If the treatments are successful I could have as much as another year to live.  Otherwise, it could be six months or less.  I could also be one of those rare "lived for years" cases but that's not likely so I only mention it since no one really knows what will happen just yet.

As you can well imagine, I am a mixture of anger, frustration and a deep, deep sadness.  I also have constant reminders of all the love that's out there for me and for Dave and it really does make a difference to hear from everyone.  To that end, I wanted to let you know that I have a new cell phone number because my cell phone from the last 10 years was a work phone and thus will be not mine sometime in the near future.  I don't want to post the number here but I will make it available on my Facebook info page.  If you're not my FB friend, send me a note and I'll send you the number in an email.  Home number is the same and is still valid.

Call or text; I would like to hear from you!

More soon, friends.