Please & Thanks

DT here. I've been thinking about writing the perfect post for some time now but this one will have to do.

David had his second chemo treatment today. It was a rough start to the day after a pretty tough weekend but tonight he's feeling better than he has in days. He ate the biggest plate of Chinese food I've ever seen and then had some more about an hour later. I know, how cliche! Ron and Mary (David's dad and his wife) arrived yesterday and stayed with him today at the hospital so I could go to work. I guess I should feel grateful, right?

Funny, because gratitude is exactly what I've been thinking about lately. I recently read Mary Karr's wonderful memoir Lit in which she details her struggle with quitting drinking. A lifelong agnostic, she struggled with figuring out how to "surrender to a Higher Power." A friend suggested she not worry about the HP part of it and pray anyway. She decided to start each day with a prayer and end it with a thanks.

I finished this book while David was in the hospital in early August and, despite myself, decided to try the same thing. I thought of it as my "please and thanks" - every morning I would "ask" for something and every night I would say "thanks." Couldn't hurt, right?

I had a harder time asking for things - maybe it was the early hour - but I usually came up with something: I asked for a good day, for sleep, for relief, for Felix to stop barking at every damn squirrel. The thanks part was always easy - in fact, I sometimes doubled-up and gave thanks for two or even three of the many kindnesses I received each day.

And now, 6 weeks later, I can't keep up with the thanks I owe: family who have come and family who are rearranging their days to come soon; Tanya flew across the country to be here and Darla is just about to do the same; Amy Beth and Ellen for cooking us so many fantastic meals and Michelle, Blair and Avery for making room in their house for them to do so; Debbie for deciphering medical lingo and my confused emotions with equal grace; Melissa made me go to the farmer's market; Stan for walking the dogs and for increasing the number of humans that Carl trusts by 50%; Jenny for checking on me throughout every day; Greg for making us laugh; Mary for offering massages (and her mom's bread pudding); Yasu for the poetry; Regina and Laurel for answering the phone when I call; Tom & Emily for the Netflix; and everyone for the thoughts, prayers, good mojo, positive energy, well wishes, games, movies, jam, puzzle magazines, Zingerman's goodies and martinis.

One of the things that David and I bonded over early on was our love of Kurt Vonnegut. Just yesterday I came across something from him that made me smile and I share that with you now:

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'"

Cheers and thanks to you all.